Climbing the Wrong Ladder: Catching Ourselves Before We Jump to Conclusions

Have you ever jumped to a conclusion and later realized you were wrong?

I definitely have.

Someone says something in passing, and I read too much into their tone. A text goes unanswered, and I assume the worst. A decision is made at work or even in the church, and I immediately start filling in the blanks about why.

Most of the time, no one actually said or did what I assumed. But my mind ran way ahead, built a story, and I reacted to the story instead of the reality.

There’s a concept called the Ladder of Inference, which describes this exact pattern. We observe something. Then we select details, interpret them, make assumptions, draw conclusions, and act, often without realizing we’ve climbed a mental ladder.

And the higher we climb, the harder it is to climb down.

For followers of Jesus, this matters deeply. Because how we think shapes how we love. And how we interpret people shapes how we treat them.

How the Ladder Works

The Ladder of Inference is simple but powerful. There are multiple versions of how the ladder works, but it goes something like this:

1. We observe something: words, actions, silence.

2. We select certain details (often based on emotion, bias, or past experience).

3. We interpret what those details mean.

4. We assume motives or intentions.

5. We conclude what is true.

6. We act based on the story we’ve built.

The Ladder of Inference

Here’s an example. Let’s say someone at church walks past without saying hello.

• Observation: They walked by.

• Selected detail: They didn’t make eye contact.

• Interpretation: They must be mad at me.

• Assumption: I must have done something wrong.

• Conclusion: They don’t like me anymore.

• Action: I avoid them or act cold in return.

And just like that, we've climbed the ladder, and our actions are now shaped by something that may not be true at all.

But it doesn’t just happen in passing moments at church. Here's another example:

Let’s say your spouse seems quiet during dinner.

• Observation: They’re eating silently.

• Selected detail: They haven’t said much all evening.

• Interpretation: They must be upset with me.

• Assumption: I must have said something wrong earlier.

• Conclusion: They’re angry, and now the whole night is ruined.

• Action: I shut down emotionally or respond defensively.

In reality, they may just be tired, distracted, or processing something entirely unrelated to you. But by the time the story plays out in your head, you’re halfway up the ladder, and it’s already shaping how you respond.

This kind of ladder climbing happens even faster in the digital world.

Imagine you send someone a text or direct message and they don’t reply for a while.

• Observation: You sent the message. Hours have passed with no reply.

• Selected detail: They were active on social media, but didn’t respond to you.

• Interpretation: They’re ignoring me.

• Assumption: I must have done something to upset them.

• Conclusion: Our relationship must be strained.

• Action: You withdraw, get irritated, or craft a passive-aggressive follow-up.

But maybe their day got away from them. Maybe they read your message and forgot to respond. Maybe they saw your name and thought, “I’ll get back to them when I can give this the attention it deserves.”

The story in our head isn’t always the story in real life.

James 1:19 (ESV) gives a very different way of living:

“Let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger.”

The ladder moves fast. Wisdom is what slows us down.

Jesus Refused to Climb the Ladder

Jesus lived in a world full of assumptions. People misunderstood Him constantly.

The Pharisees assumed His power came from evil. His hometown assumed He was just a carpenter’s son. The disciples often assumed He’d act like a political king. The crowd assumed the cross meant He had failed.

Yet Jesus didn’t react to their assumptions with bitterness or defensiveness. He didn’t climb their ladders in return. He stayed grounded in the Father’s truth.

1 Peter 2:23 (ESV) says:

“When he was reviled, he did not revile in return; when he suffered, he did not threaten, but continued entrusting himself to him who judges justly.”

Jesus shows us what it looks like to live unshaken by false narratives, trusting God to hold the truth.

Slow the Climb

Here’s the good news: we don’t have to live at the top of the ladder.

We can slow down the climb. We can choose to pause before filling in the blanks. We can pray before we assume. We can seek understanding before we react.

Proverbs 18:13 (ESV) puts it bluntly:

“If one gives an answer before he hears, it is his folly and shame.”

When I pause and ask a clarifying question, when I give someone the benefit of the doubt, the ladder starts to disappear. Grace takes its place.

This isn’t just about avoiding conflict. It’s about becoming people who reflect the patience, gentleness, and truth of Christ.

When the Ladder Feels Justified

Sometimes, the ladder feels justified. Maybe there really has been hurt. Maybe someone has acted in a way that feels personal.

Even then, we’re called to respond differently.

Romans 12:18 (ESV) says:

“If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.”

That doesn’t mean ignoring sin or pretending pain doesn’t exist. It means not letting assumptions lead the way. It means seeking truth, reconciliation, and peace whenever possible.

Even when we can’t control others’ actions, we can control how we respond. We can stay grounded instead of climbing higher.

Replacing the Ladder with the Cross

The gospel gives us an alternative to the ladder.

Instead of assuming the worst, we remember how Christ saw us at our worst and loved us anyway. Instead of climbing in pride, we humble ourselves in grace. Instead of rehearsing stories in our heads, we take every thought captive and bring it to Jesus.

2 Corinthians 10:5 (ESV):

“We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ.”

When we give our thoughts to Him, He reshapes our perspective. He helps us see people not as enemies who have it out for us, but as precious souls to love.

So Let Me Ask You (as I ask myself):

• Where have I recently made assumptions without seeking the truth?

• Whose actions or words am I interpreting through old wounds or fears?

• How often do I pause and pray before reacting?

• Who in my life needs the gift of being understood, not assumed?

• What would it look like to see this person or situation through Christ’s eyes?

A Closing Encouragement

We can’t stop every assumption from entering our minds, but we can choose what we do with them. We can either climb the ladder or decide to meet Christ at the bottom.

When we slow down, seek truth, and anchor our thoughts in His Word, something powerful happens: peace replaces suspicion. Grace replaces judgment. Trust replaces fear.

That’s how we become people who love like Jesus, not just in what we do, but in how we think.

Real love starts long before our words or actions. It starts in the mind.

Until the journey is complete,

Jonathan Pilgrim

P.S. This week, pay attention to the ladders you start to climb. Pause. Take a deep breath. Pray. Ask a clarifying question. Don’t react to a story your mind made up. Let grace interrupt the climb.